Maybe Matthew McConaughey Was Right

"Dazed and Confused" has long been a cult favorite among people my age, Matthew McConaughey in particular for his performance as the townie David Wooderson. (It was one of his first roles and looking at the cast, I forgot how the actors are such a classic early '90s ensemble: Ben Affleck, Joey Lauren Adams, Milla Jovovich, Adam Goldberg, etc.) I never liked the movie much, but McConaughey's most famous line from the movie -- "That's what I love about these high school girls: I get older, they stay the same age" -- has some sort of cultural corollary, best exemplified by this spring's success of "Fast Five" the fifth installment in "The Fast and the Furious" franchise.

Reading Brooks Barnes' recent dissection in the Times of the movie's success is hilarious. First, in the accompanying photo, Vin Diesel and Dwyane Johnson, look as though they'd love to kiss each other. Then, Barnes chronicles the attempts to remake the franchise's plot as though it were some risky decision that could dismantle international foreign policy, when, really, they're just driving cars. I remember seeing the first movie in the theatre during high school. As I read the article, all I could think was, Haven't people caught on by now? Everyone my age has, but that doesn't mean there aren't millions of teenagers who have filled the void. In short: "The best thing about 'The Fast and the Furious' is as it gets older, high schoolers stay the same age."

There are quite a few practitioners of pop culture whose career exists on the principle that there will always be 14 to 20 year-olds willing to slurp this up. As one group matures, the next remarkably has the same exact emotions and tastes. The more things change, the more they stay the same. And as relatively bad as these artists all are, they might be brilliant for realizing this and mining it for lucrative careers. Other examples are Dave Matthews Band, which is by far the worst offender, Weezer, and the Beastie Boys.

It slightly pains me to put the Beastie Boys in this group, but after listening today to their new record, "Hot Sauce Committee, Part 2," they deserve it. They also deserve respect for using their fame wisely, thinking seriously, promoting worthy causes, and developing their career on their own terms and at their own pace. But the new record, in its return to their early '90s raucous mashup of styles, is tough to swallow. I feel bludgeoned by the loud riffs that don't go anywhere, the rhymes' cadences that repeat over and over again, the empty calories of songs. Weren't we here when I was 12 years old and isn't "Pass the Mic" a much better version of it? Why do we need to trudge through it again? And then a 12-year-old nods along to the new songs.