Go Away, A-Bombs from A-Rod

It seems nearly inevitable that the Yankees will win this year's World Series -- their lineup is too deep and C.C. Sabathia too good a pitcher every three days (which maybe only one or two other pitchers can do these days). Fa fa blip blip.

Rooting for the Yankees is like rooting for Wal-Mart -- corporatism wins, independence loses, money trumps homegrown talent, the megalopolis defeats the hometown yet again. While fathers obviously don't want to inflict pain on their children, raising one's kids to be Yankees fan is almost like teaching them the wrong life lessons. "No need to persevere, son. Forget about the idea that you can go anywhere with talent. Throw enough money at a problem and you'll solve it. Without the money, though, you'll probably be thwarted. Heartbreak? You'll never know it," he says. "Why dad?" the son asks. "Because you're a Yankees fan," the dad replies.

The idea that the Yankess were going to abandon their free-agent-driven approach to team-building has proved short-lived. Thirteen years into the era of Derek Jeter, Mariano Rivera, Jorge Posada and Andy Pettitte, the only other homegrown players to last successfully have been Robinson Cano and Melky Cabrera. After a one-year break, Brian Cashman et al are back to throwing money at the problem. Sure, other teams in all professional sports do this, but there's something overwhelming plastic and unlikeable about the players the Yankees select. The egomania of Alex Rodriguez and do-gooder talents of Marx Texeira are nauseating. While they sit on opposite sides of the spectrum, there's little genuine about either. It's almost impossible to be someone who yearns for the real thing and is a Yankees fan.

Thanks to the obnoxious home run call by John Sterling for Rodriguez, even more nauseating than the third baseman himself, for the post's title. A former co-worker said I do the impression very well, and watching Yankees games without me isn't quite the same. It's one of the higher compliments I've received the past couple of years.