I Hate All Advertising

So I was going to write about how much I hate Mohegan Sun's commercial series where they insert new, terribly written lyrics to "classic" songs ("classic" meaning instantly recognizable, not good) -- and I will -- but in the past couple days I realized how much I hate all advertising.

There is never a commercial where, upon seeing it, I think to myself, "Huh, that seems like a neat product," or "Huh, that was witty/intelligent." Every single time all I can think is "Huh, that was a waste of time," or "Huh, I can't believe people do this for a living," or "Huh, I hate consumerism."

So, yes, the obvious question is: Why don't you turn off the TV? I would but the NBA Finals, Euro 2008 and the "Top Chef" season have been on. All excellent, despite the commercials.

Back to Mohegan Sun. Watch this:



This is probably the nadir of all commercials. The set-up is so lame, rhyming so obvious; the way the "lyrics" land on the word "cappucino" is so painful, and the close-ups of the platinum blond woman are somewhat grotesque. (Her teeth resemble vampires'. Why they chose to zoom in on her, I don't know.)

Actually, this one (to the tune of "Thriller"?) is even worse. The dancing by the male protagonist is so half-hearted it's comical. I laugh whenever they do this faux-werewolf-claw thing and he just kind of rolls his wrist. Too funny in the worst way possible.



But at least Billy Joel is playing there tonight!